What's wrong, yo?
by FearfulCaptainBiffElderberry
Summary: A oneshot written in 20 minutes for a writing game my friends and I play. Rude gets knocked up by Reno. Kind of your general run of the mill reaction story. Mpreg. Yaoi. Some coarse language. And general sugar induced weirdness. Slightly AU I guess...


**Disclaimer:** I don't own... anything really. I own nothing. To be more specific the Turks belong to Square Enix, and Gaia belongs to whoever it is that runs that site... (I searched... and I couldn't find a name anywhere!)

**Author's Note: **Woohoo! First post in like two months! First off if you normally read my stuff (however I doubt this cause I just totally jumped fandoms...) I want to apologize, and tell you I really am working hard on getting some updates done. But at the same time it's summer so the only thing I seem to do is band camp and practicing my laziness. (I'm getting quite good at it thank you!) But I'm aiming to keep this thing shorter than normal(No more 1000 word author's notes for me!) so let me explain this really quickly.

My friends (Kenzigirl and Reeby10) and I have a tradition whenever we have a party. Sometime around midnight we steal enough laptops from my family, barricade ourselves in my room with plenty of caffeine and sugar, and do a bit of a writing competition. Basically we dare each other to write some sort of story of the challengers choosing. Which is why Reno and Rude might be a little out of character. Because normally I work in Harry Potter, generally in the mauraders era. I occasionally take a break and do a bit of dabbling in Kingdom Hearts. But never have I written for FFVII.

But this lovely little prompt is from Kenzigirl (so all flames should go to her!... jk... Don't flame her, cause she'll kill me if you do!) and is Rude/Reno with Rude getting knocked up. (ok, so that's no the exact wording... but I like it better...) Oh, and it's shorter than I'd like it to be, but I guess I can live with that.

**Warnings:** Some language (I get a bit of a potty mouth when I'm hyped up on sugar and caffeine), Mpreg, Yaoi (boyxboy)... I am marking this as Teen because I do not believe it deserves to be rated M. It's fairly clean except for some of the language. So don't be offended by this. I'm generally utterly clueless when it comes to rating stories. (Honestly, I keep trying to put light lemons in the teen category. Then I realize that I really have no wish to be banned, and so I bump 'em up.) So if you believe that this story deserves to be knocked up to rated: M, then please tell me and I will.

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"What the fuck!" A loud roar tore through the Turk's office. "Reno!" It continued, "Get your ass in here!" Reno looked up from the desk he had been staring at. He sighed, getting up, and wandering towards the bathroom wondering what was wrong with Rude.

His "partner" had been acting rather strange lately. He was always sick, and eating the weirdest foods, not to mention the strange mood swings. Reno sighed, stalking into the bathroom to find Rude bent over the sink, knuckles clenched white on the porcelain.

"What's wrong, yo?" Reno asked, approaching the bald man. The only reply was a little white piece of plastic shoved into his hands. He examined it carefully and noted the little smiley face on it. _What the hell is this? _He thought, not sure what it was. But within a minute, he finally figured it out.

"So Tseng finally knocked up Elena? That's not much of a surprise, yo." He said, sure that that was the only possible reason he found himself staring at a pregnancy test.

"No, idiot. It's me." Reno gaped at the bald man, rage building in his body. Rude? Rude knocked up Elena? No. No. Rude was Reno's. That was simply it. There was no way that Rude would cheat, especially not with Tseng's girl.

Rude turned around from the facet, shocked at his lover's face. "Reno," He started, "Elena's not pregnant. I am." Reno giggled slightly, before his eyes rolled up in his eyes, and he passed out right in the middle of the bathroom.

Five minutes later, Rude had carried Reno to his office, and was running smelling salts under the redhead's nose, trying to hold his own stomach at the vile smell.

"huh? What happened, yo?" Reno asked, shaking his head, as he finally came through.

"Not much, I just told you I was pregnant and you passed out."

"Oh," Reno gasped, trying not to pass out again. He shook his head clearing it, "How the fuck did that happen?" Rude just glared at him, and shook his head. "Never mind, yo." Reno said, decided he didn't need a play by play of that, as it would leave an uncomfortably tightness in his pants, and the chances where that Rude would do nothing to try and help him anytime in the near future.

"I... I don't know what to do," Rude finally confessed after several awkward minutes of silence. "I mean I can't just get rid of it. But... we can't really take care of a kid ourselves. I mean you're barely more than a kid yourself," Reno glared at him, "I mean, we can't have a kid. It was a one night thing," Reno glared at him again. Seriously, they had been together for well over two month. It wasn't just a one night thing! "I just. I don't know!" Rude buried his head in his hands and leaned over the desk.

"Shh," Reno ran a comforting hand over his lover's back, "We don't have to decide anything today, yo. This is a big enough of a shock. I mean, what even made you think it was pregnancy instead of something like a cold?" Rude blushed slightly, which was quite an odd sight on him.

"I went on one of those forum thingys. It was pretty cool, you could dress up a little picture to look however you wanted. Anyways, I went on the forum, asking for advice about my weird illness after it didn't go away, and well, everyone said it sounded a lot like pregnancy. I blew it off at first, but well, I kept thinking about it, and decided that I might as well put my mind at ease. Sadly, it was true." Reno bent forwards and kissed his lover's lips.

"That's... different, yo," Reno said, trying hard not to laugh at the mental image of Rude on a site like Gaia, "Why don't you take off early, and go home. I'll drop by later with some food, and we can discuss our options from there on? Mmk, yo?" Rude nodded, and Reno walked him to the door, talking merrily all the way. He waved good by to his lover, as one thought crossed his mind; he was gonna be a daddy!

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**Author's Note: **I have a few things to say. (Yes, I know I ramble...) First things first, you should get on Gaia (www(.)gaiaonline(.)com). Particularly if you already have an account, but haven't been doing the Rejected Olympics. I'm on the Aekea team (which totally rocks even though we're in last place) and we really need **your **help to win. So come join us!(It's only going through Sunday July 27th though) By the way, on Gaia my username isn't PixxSI. PM me if you want to know what it is. (I would just post it here, but well... if my parents ever find this account, I can still claim it's not me... as long as nothing they can identify as mine (such as my Gaia account) isn't linkable to this account... so sorry!)

And the last thing, is that I always give cookies at the end of my fics. However due to several restraining orders, I'm not allowed to actually send the cookies to you. So every reviewer gets one cookie to give to the character of their choice. (Please tell me who gets the cookie in your review. Other wise, I get it! And I really don't need them!)

So anyways, thanks for reading and have a great day!


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